APtly Said | Attachment Parenting International

APtly Said

APtly Said is API’s blog for parents written by parents striving to embrace API’s Eight Principles of Parenting in their families on a daily basis. Posts are provided through a core team of bloggers with guest posts accepted regularly. Contact Rita Brhel, interim editor, for submission guidelines. 

May 07, 2018

Reading Time: 2.5 minutes

“You are not a good mother. You are not doing a good job. You are messing her up.”

These are words I hear too often. No, not from others, but from myself.

These words are my thoughts, or my negative self-talk.

We all have self-talk. The lucky among us experience a plethora of positive self-talk, and the unfortunate among us experience negative self-talk. Research indicates self-talk begins to form in the early years as our core beliefs, which are largely influenced by messages we receive from our primary caregivers, take shape.

My childhood was traumatic. In addition, I was heavily criticized and emotionally neglected. Therefore, I have an abundant supply of negative core beliefs such as:

“I am not good...

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